The Dog's Diary 
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing! 
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! 

The Cat's Diary 
Day 983 of my captivity. 
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. 
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are 
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for 
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order 
to keep up my strength. 
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an 
attempt  to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a 
mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this 
would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my 
capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about 
what a "good little hunter" I am. Jerks! 
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was 
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I 
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement 
was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and 
how to use it to my advantage. 
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my 
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try 
this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. 
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and 
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and 
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally ill. 
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the 
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors 
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is 
For now... 
the cat 

This was sent to me by Chuck Norris..................of Brookfield, Wisconsin.  I thought it was a great
way of describing the difference between a cat for a pet and a dog.
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